


Sad, Beautiful, Tragic Love Affair

by Strangertd



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:10:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strangertd/pseuds/Strangertd
Summary: With all this talk of a "bachelorette" party, I figured I may as well do what I do best and reflect.If you have any comments- not necessarily on the fic but on the whole situation and how you feel about it- feel free to rant.





	Sad, Beautiful, Tragic Love Affair

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Sad, Beautiful, Tragic by Taylor Swift
> 
> Song quoted is Hard Times by Paramore

_"All that I want is to wake up fine. Tell me that I'm alright, that I ain't gonna die. All that I want is a hole in the ground. You can tell me when it's alright for me to come out."_

 

Chris is at the stove, flicking it off as he lets the chili he’s made cool a bit. He doesn’t cook much, but he does make a mean chili, especially if he follows the old Colfer family recipe. 

Darren’s home too. He has been for the past 4 days straight, yet Chris hasn’t really spoken with him much. Especially not this weekend. He just locks himself in his office to work on his screenplay, taking occasional breaks to eat, use the restroom, and sleep.

Today though, he’d had a horrible case of writer’s block and knew that he’d have to leave the sanctuary of his office. He sat outside for a bit under the umbrella, and even swam in the pool with Cooper for a bit, which he used as an excuse to take a long, drawn out bath with the door locked. After his bath, it was only six, so he figured he may as well make some dinner while Darren sits at the island, typing away at his own computer.

“You’re mad.” Darren states, watching Chris’ back straighten as he grabs two bowls from the cupboard.

“Of course I’m mad. Why the fuck wouldn’t I be mad?” Chris replies calmly, setting the bowls next to the stove as he fills them both up with the chili he’s made, dropping in spoons.

“You’re taking it out on me.” Darren notes as Chris turns to look at him, shrugging his shoulders and he sets one bowl in front of Darren, setting the other next to him on the island.

“What else do you expect, Darren?” Chris asks, grabbing a bottle of hard cider from the fridge and cracking it open. He tosses the cap in the trash and takes his seat next to Darren, who’s just staring at him with furrowed brows.

“I don’t want this. You know I don’t.” He says, and Chris shrugs again, stirring his chili around before lifting his spoon, examining the bite.

“Clearly you do because you’re going through with it.” He says, then takes his bite, humming softly at the flavor. Could use a bit more chili powder, but it’s still good. Not as good as his mom used to make, though. He turns to face Darren as he chews, who’s still staring at him, computer closed and set aside and his chili untouched.

“I’m doing what I have to for my career.” He says, and Chris rolls his eyes, setting his spoon back into his bowl.

“But you aren’t, D. I’m gay and I’ve gotten plenty acting jobs. Even a straight role. So have plenty of other gay actors. I mean, look at Neil Patrick Harris. Gay people can get acting jobs just fine.” Chris raises a challenging brow at him and takes a swig of hard cider, a little worried at Darren’s eye roll as he picks up his own spoon.

“Yeah, I can see all the acting jobs you’ve had the past few years.” Darren mumbles, taking a bite of chili and setting his spoon back down. Chris just glares at him.

“Because I  _ choose _ not to. I don’t like leaving the house! I hate going in public anymore! You know this so don’t you dare fucking put the blame on me not acting anymore on my sexuality when you  _ know  _ that has nothing to do with it” Chris turns away then, just staring angrily down at his food. Darren just sighs and shakes his head, setting a reassuring hand on Chris’ thigh.

“I’m sorry, C. I’m just really stressed out and pissed off.” He apologizes, squeezing Chris’ thigh until he looks up, offering a small smile. Chris just nods and turns back to his food.

“Yeah, well that makes two of us.”

 

….

 

_"Walking around, my little rain cloud hanging over my head and it ain't coming down. Where do I go? Gimme some sort of sign. You hit me with lightning! Maybe I'll come alive."_

 

Later, they’re both in their shared bathroom getting ready for bed. Chris is finishing brushing his teeth, while Darren dries off his freshly washed face. He sighs and leans against the wall, staring at Chris through the mirror.

“Not saying I will, but… If I do go through with this… If it does happen… What happens to us?” Darren asks, and Chris just spits out his toothpaste foam, rinses his mouth out then wipes his face on the towel.

“I don’t know.” He answers, and turns to look at Darren, leaning against the counter. He finally realizes just how dark and red Chris’ eyes are, and he knows how hard this is on him. It’s hard on him too, but at the same time, a part of him is so scared. He doesn’t want to lose his career… but he doesn’t want to lose Chris either.

He realizes Chris is waiting for him to speak, but he doesn’t really have anything to say, so he just slinks forward and wraps his arms around Chris’ waist, who in turn wraps his arms around Darren’s shoulders. They stay like that for a moment, and Darren can feel Chris take a shaky breath before he speaks.

“I don’t want to see you marrying someone else. That’s too much for me. I love you and you know I  _ always _ will but… I can’t sit here and watch you marry someone else while I’m your dirty little secret at home. I could handle this when it was just dating or whatever, but come on D… That’s too far. It’s been eight years. I refuse to watch you marry someone else, and quite frankly, I’m getting tired of waiting.” Darren just sighs and hugs him tighter.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. But the time has come, honey. You have to choose. Me or your career.” Darren pulls back and looks up at him, eyebrows knit together.

“That’s not fair, Chris!” He argues, and Chris’ face falls and he nudges Darren away from him.

“No, Darren. This isn’t fair to me. You can’t ask me to fucking watch you marry someone else! The engagement was bad enough but this is too fucking far!” Chris snaps, huffing as he walks into the bedroom, grabbing his memory foam pillow from his side of the bed.

“But I-”

“Don't. I’m sleeping in the guest room.” Chris’ voice cracks at the end and Darren knows he’s crying. He feels like shit but he still has so much to figure out for himself. He really doesn’t want to lose Chris. He truly feels like he’s met his soulmate, but he also knows that Chris is hurting. He hates that he’s the reason for it. 

Darren sets Fitz on the bed and climbs in with him, smiling softly as he curls up next to his chest. He sighs and stares at the ceiling, his mind buzzing with thoughts.

He can refuse a ceremony, and they legally can’t force him into anything. Yet, if they do push the narrative behind his back that they got married and he’s just choosing not to wear a ring on his left ring finger, then there’s nothing he can do but go along with it until it’s all finally over.

He knows that if it does happen, even without his consent, that Chris is going to fall apart, and the way Darren sees it, he has two likely options, and one fantasy option. 

The fantasy is that the contract magically ends within a few months and by this time next year, he and Chris will be free. It’s highly unlikely, especially as his team pushes the bachelorette party, and he knows it.

Option one is the engagement happens and he stays with Chris, but watches him fall apart as he in turn watches his husband marry another woman- even if it’s all fake. He can’t do that to Chris. He knows he can't. He loves Chris too much to destroy him like that.

Which really leaves option two. His team pulls the wedding card and he lets Chris go. It’ll kill them both, but at least Chris won’t have to hide in the shadows anymore. He can find someone else to be with and then maybe he’ll finally be happy. Sure, Darren will be stuck in his hole, but he’d feel better knowing Chris was happy, and maybe someday when the charade ends, he and Chris can find each other and rekindle their newlywed romance once again. At least, he hopes...

 

_ "Hard times gonna make you wonder why you even try. Hard times gonna take you down and laugh when you cry." _

 

In the guest room, Chris is mulling over the same thoughts as he cries, cuddled up with Cooper under the covers. He really doesn’t want to lose Darren, but he knows that if there is a staged wedding, it’s going to hurt him too much to see, and he really doesn’t need to break another door. 

The dogs will be sad too, and Brian, even if he likes to pretend that he hates everyone that isn’t Chris. They always look forward to the days Darren comes home and plays fetch in the yard or goes swimming with them. Chris kisses the top of Cooper’s head, wiping his eyes as Cooper licks his cheek.

“We’ll figure it out, buddy.” He whispers, even if he’s not too sure of it himself. Darren has a choice to make, but so does he…

His heart, or his mental health.

 

_"... and I still don't know how I even survive hard times- and I gotta get to rock bottom!"_

 


End file.
